We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
