I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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