then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
