what day is it and did you see me today?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
