I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
