Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
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Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
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After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize