i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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