Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
