youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
