It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
