I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
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