Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
