Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
We got so high we made milksteak
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize