I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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