I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
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