Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
