Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
No subtext here. People are naked.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
