even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Holy shit dude........stairs
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize