Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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