she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
