I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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