Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
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