hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
