I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize