Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
