I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
