We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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