Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
