if i can run in heels then i can drive
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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