just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
