Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
