my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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