I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
