toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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