I got chris browned last night
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
