Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
