Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
