i would punch a child for taco bell
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
