I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
