5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
