ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
