I think im going to throw up on grandma
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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