haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize