spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I'm having to shit out rocks
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
