This is not my ceiling
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
