chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
