I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize