i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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