dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You need a sexual gate keeper
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
