Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize