You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
