You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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