I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
