nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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