It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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