you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Randomize
