Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
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