His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
