What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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