Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
