Betty ford says i'm here all night
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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